Strike a Chord

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." - James Baldwin

"The more familiar two people become, the more the language they speak together departs from that of the ordinary, dictionary-defined discourse. Familiarity creates a new language, an in-house language of intimacy that carries reference to the story the two lovers are weaving together and that cannot be readily understood by others." -Alain de Botton

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great." -Comte DeBussy-Rabutin

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." -Henry Drummond

"The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence." -Albert Ellis

"Love is staying up all night with a sick child -- or a healthy adult." -Sir David Paradine Frost

"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead." -Bertrand Russel

"Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are." -Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve

"To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be." -Anna Louise Strong

(It Always Comes) Back to the Future

Past events, recent events, and recent events that have reminded me of past events have all led me to do a lot of thinking about the future. Yeah it's scary. In an ever changing world, I feel like it's almost a waste of time to try to plan for more than a year ahead of time. Then again, when's the last time someone I knew became homeless? Penniless and out on the street with no family and no friends? I've never known someone like that and I know that my family would never turn on me if that even started to happen. So what's so bad about taking a risk? My parents encouraged me my whole life to do what I love and be what I want to be, so why should I let an uncertain future deter me from that? So what if I fall on my face?? At least I took the leap! At least I tried! Nothing worth having ever comes easy! If no one ever took a leap of faith about their future, imagine all the things we wouldn't have in the world. Galileo died defending his leap of faith, and he ended up being right! One of my absolute favorite songs is "When The Sand Runs Out" by Rascal Flatts. I want to make that my goal: taking leaps and hoping I land on my feet...and if not...try, try again :-)

Random Recent Funny Moments (to me at least)

1. The child in my house running at me with scissors trying to stab me.
2. All the men's worried reactions to me learning to drive a motorbike.
3. Learning that Peter Pan is a Christmas movie in Sweden.
4. Getting yelled at by a woman on a bicycle for walking in the street...when she was the one driving the wrong direction.
5. JP still trying to convince himself that the fan he bought me will be an air conditioner.
6. Being dubbed "Miss Totally Awesome" by some students.
7. Almost getting run over by a bus.
8. JP's super involved and serious lie about Vietnamese jumping spiders that can jump 10 feet and are deadly poisonous.

I love Vietnam.

Free At Last!

Last week I caught a bad virus going around Ha Noi that involved a very high fever. I was out of commission for about a week. Every few hours I was getting text messages from students asking how I was doing and when I would return to school. I missed them very much as well! I had a lot of time to reflect and pray while I was off of work, and I realized that if I missed my students and friends this much after only a week, how could I stay 8,000+ miles away from them?? I called St. Louis and told them I wanted to return for another school year of volunteer teaching :-) What a weight lifted off my shoulders!! Wow, at the exact time I really started praying for guidance, God gifted me with a virus for clarity :-) He works in mysterious ways!

This weekend was an incredible assurance that I have made the best decision. Myself and five second year students, the winners of an English contest in Ha Noi, travelled to Hung Vuong University in Phu Tho to help James and his students learn how to run the competition for themselves. We had SO much fun! The students all got along really well and made some good friendships. The joy and laughter of the weekend enforced my decision to want to be back here next year! Other perks of the weekend included my first home made meal by students, quality time with James and Michael, and finally some peace and quiet away from the city!

Nghia explaining the rules of the contest to the HVU students.

Bach Khoa and Hung Vuong connection :-)

Michael, myself, and James :-) I was so blessed to be able to spend time with them this weekend!

Stuck in Limbo

The hardest part about a decision like the one I have before me is that God has made it abundantly clear that no matter which path I choose, He will bless me and the people around me richly. So now it really IS just up to me! Almost every day I experience a moment where I realize that Vietnam is a place I am supposed to be, that I love, that I am needed. However at the same time my heart is longing to be back home with my family. I still have the fact that I have not quite finished my degree hanging over my head. Just 2 more Chemistry classes and a senior project and I'm done!! I am currently researching the possibility of taking Chemistry here in Vietnam...hopefully in English! I just really feel pulled to this field and all my relationships are just starting...I can't leave them now!

I had this awesome moment with one of my student's this weekend. We were waiting outside a pottery factory in Bat Trang for the rest of our group to finish. I grabbed her hand (hand holding of the same sex is a sign of closeness in Vietnam) and we walked down the street talking and giggling, about boys of course! I realized two things. 1. that I am perfectly comfortable being here and doing this sort of work...love it even! 2. that I am comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. I'm surprised at the second one. Being in a country where everyone is stick thin I figured my self esteem would plummet, but I've learned to hold my head high!

That's another huge lesson I've had to learn here: how to make my faith my own. In the US during Easter there are people around to wish you a Happy Easter. Here there isn't anyone to remind me about it! There are no devos, no chapel, barely any other Christians! There are sometimes days that seem like one big prayer that God would give me the right words to say, put me in the right place, grant me peace and clarity, keep me safe, even just to make the heat go away! I really like who I've grown to be in just these short 3 months and I literally cannot sit still when I think of the endless opportunities that God has laid out for me in the future :-)