Trick or Sick

So with the approach of Halloween, I feel like I should state that the devil fights dirty and I am not a fan. I haven't gone 2 weeks without being sick since I arrived back in Vietnam. I'm not saying the devil made me sick. But he is sure using it to try to get my spirits low, and no doubt make me think I am a horrible teacher and friend to the people I am letting down at school. Forcing me to stay in my room for a day/days is a great way to get my mind going in a million directions, usually leading to a low point.

Thank God that this time my illness was proceeded by two KICK BUTT AWESOME days of classes! My students and I are finally starting to click and it's a great feeling! I'm actually starting to look forward to class, even the ones early in the morning! I think I've found my groove, well besides the whole getting sick part!

I think I'm even starting to come out of a second shell! I must, because I agreed to sing a Faith Hill song as a part of a Halloween show on Saturday night in front of literally over a hundred people at least! What am I thinking?? No doubt it'll be on YouTube like...an hour after the show!!

I found out my family is coming to visit at the end of December. I am SO excited to show them this life and place that I have come to love! I can't wait to introduce them to all the important people in my life these days and for them to experience all the crazy, awesome experiences that Vietnam has to offer! Mostly, I just want to see my mom's face when she crosses the street :)

Things You Would Probably Never See on the Streets of Rochester Hills

1. A cockfight.

2. 7 brides getting their picture taken on the same day in the same spot.

3. Molding water in the gutters.

4. A giant dead rat.

5. Tons of dead cockroaches.

6. Wires above the intersection that are touching the ground (in good weather).

7. A scale with wheels and an option to tell you how "in shape" you are.

8. Large pieces of motorbike bumpers tossed aside after a collision.

9. A person selling anything.

10. Minorities....haha....just kidding! But seriously...

Real Thoughts

I've been delaying writing real thoughts on here because...well basically because I find my thoughts hard to organize these days. I hardly ever feel myself in the moment. I'm either thinking about how crazy/weird/ironic/"planned out" my past was to lead me to the place I am...or I'm thinking another step ahead about where I'll be in the future. It's probably not a good thing and might be part of the reason I went through some aweful culture shock the first few weeks here.

It hasn't even been a solid month yet and I already feel like it's been a lifetime! In contrast to last time, there isn't much point in saying, "Oh, I'll be leaving in ____ days/months", because that number is still huge! I've spent the past 4 weeks organizing and planning out how to keep myself completely exhausted for the next few months. All in all my only free time exists on Monday and Wednesday afternoons, Friday mornings, all Saturday, and Sunday evening. That seems like a lot, but it's really not, especially when the heat and lack of sleep due to obnoxious children and dogs feels like it sucks half the day away from me before I even started. Let me just say that if I were the mother of the children that live on my alley, I would have smacked them into next week...so many times that they would be like a year older then they really are. Seriously!

I enjoy my limited amount of free time though. Living in this house all alone is, well, lonely. I try not to spend too much time here, and when I do it's normally downloading episodes of TV shows back home that keep me sane: Grey's Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, Greek, Drop Dead Diva, and Glee.

Speaking of nerdy things I do, I feel like there is a list coming on, because I love lists. And there are that many things.

1. I'm afraid to put the toilet top down because I'm afraid that a bug might pop out at me the next time I open it. This is a completely irrational fear because I've never had this happen to me, nor have I heard it happening to anyone else.

2. I'm a little scared of my kitchen. It's kinda half under the stairs, and again I'm afraid of bugs popping out. However, THAT was is rational because I find dead roaches in the kitchen almost every morning.

3. On the topic of bugs, I feel like Raid is my new perfume. It'll catch on.

4. I have a jar of peanut butter and a jar of strawberry jam (the real kind, I totally splurged a whole $3 on it) in my fridge, but no bread, so I eat them alone, and seperately.

5. I've been living here for 4 weeks now and JUST discovered that to avoid taking cold showers every day I should have turned OFF the cold water on full blast. Who woulda thunk??

6. I have conversations in my head of what to say to people who speak only Vietnamese. Instead of taking a minute or two and calling someone to translate for me. So "Xin Chao" will have to do.

7. I always say temperature in Fahrenheit, even though I know full well everyone uses Celcius here.

8. I habitually place my order for street food and then check my cell phone for text messages to avoid the stares. Sometimes I even write fake texts to keep myself occupied.

9. I mentally thank Old Navy everyday because I currently have 6 pairs (all different colors to coordinate with outfits) by the door and they are all I wear.

10. I check my email at LEAST 20 times a day, always hoping there will be something, then getting angry if it's Facebook or spam.

11. I daydream about what is waiting for me at home. Then I freak out about what's not waiting for me at home. Then I tell myself not to think about it again. Then I do it again.

Sometimes...

...when the light in the bathroom naturally goes from dim to brighter as time goes on...I imagine that I am being enlightened with some amazing idea.

...I get really sick and don't tell anyone.

...I want to yell whatever "shut up" is in Vietnamese down my alley to all the obnoxiously loud children...and their gossipy mothers...no matter what language you speak, gossip all has the same tone.

...I get attached way to quickly.

...I worry where I'll be a year from now.

...my students make my heart smile, like today when they told me I am beautiful and a good teacher!

...I wish I knew pig latin.

...I drink whole bottles of water at once.

...hugs are the only cure.

...I buy gifts for people who mean a lot to me.

...I sing random musical notes for as long as possible, changing the pitch and tone, imagining that I am making up some new song that someday I will write (in musical notes which I cannot read or write) and then write lyrics to and sell it and I'll be hella famous.

...I dream that I'm in a room full of colorful balloon type blobs...and I wake up crying??

...I wonder what it would have been like to become Christian later in life, rather than having been raised that way my whole life. Would my faith be stronger? Would I still be Lutheran?

...I wish I had been born back when there is no electricity and you had to do everything yourself and read by candlelight. Then I turn on my laptop and that thought is the farthest thing from my mind. Why does this thing run so slow?? Wow, I feel materialistic.

...really simple things make my heart skip a beat when I think of a fond memory...like certain flowers, a movie title, a smell, or the way someone laughs.

...I am reminded that true love is out there somewhere when I see an old couple walking down the street holding hands.

...my mind gets away from me sometimes :)

I Hope I Don't Have Swine Flu

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes. ~St. Clement of Alexandra

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit. ~Aristotle

The best way out is always through. ~Robert Frost

Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking. ~William B. Sprague

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. ~Confucius

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. ~Benjamin Franklin

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is short, art long, opportunity fleeting, experience treacherous, judgment difficult. ~Hypocrites

To live is like to love--all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. ~Samuel Butler

As I grow to understand life less and less,I learn to love it more and more. ~Jules Renard

In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. ~Albert Schweitzer

Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though 'twere his own. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances. ~Benjamin Franklin

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. ~Henry David Thoreau

I Will Praise You In This Storm

Currently there is a typhoon hitting Central Vietnam (near Hue and Da Nang where I was visiting just 2 days ago) pretty hard. I haven't heard about any damage or deaths, however I can't understand the Vietnamese news stations. But I am able to see that swirling red thing headed straight for us. I've been told Hanoi is only expected to get some pretty large amounts of rain, but that equals lots of flooding. Please keep Vietnam in your prayers, especially those who have lost/may lose their fields which are a source of food and income for their families.

http://www.divevietnam.com/weather_forecast.shtml

Sweet Somethings

For some reason I really expected the transition back to Vietnam was going to be a lot harder, especially since JP and Aimee aren't here yet. But it's been awesome! Of course it's only been a couple days, but I am feeling so incredibly blessed! I have only cried once which is a huge change for me lol. I didn't even cry at the airport!

Blessings:
1. I slept a decent amount on the airplane with the aide of some wine and sleeping pills
2. All my luggage made it from Detroit to Hanoi
3. I had 2 people to pick me up at the airport
4. My new house is AWESOME! Four stories all to myself for now! My own room and bathroom and most importantly: air conditioning!!!!
5. There is a bun cha place around the corner!! It's my favorite Vietnamese food of all time!
6. My internet is extremely reliable so far and I have even been able to use video chat on Skype :)
7. Ted's niece, Julie, is in town for a few months and we get along pretty well!
8. I got to meet the Winkelman's which is super awesome to add another family to that family atmosphere that is so important to have here
9. Church!! I missed it so much! What joy to get back to the raw worship that St. John has been missing for a while! Plus there are so many familiar faces that I missed seeing regularly, especially Rachel!
10. I met 3 cool new friends at church and we went out to lunch with the Englebrecht's for yummy Indian food :)
11. Yung Ting personally asked me if I wanted to go see the water puppet show...so cute!
12. Had coffee with 2 of the 3 new friends...it'll be nice to have some close ex-pat friends this time around :)
13. Spent $50 or so on groceries...I finally have some food and water!
14. I unpacked and realized I have a lot more space than I thought! It makes me that much more excited to have a place of my own someday
15. I only have one 6:45am class and it's on Wednesday instead of Monday like I thought

Everyday I am reminded to remain in awe of how God has a hand in everything in my life. I am glad I can blog and journal about good times like this so that next time there is a down time I can look back and be filled with hope that the future is in God's hands! The screen saver on my phone is "Ebenezer" which means "Thus far the Lord has been with me". What a great reminder!

Travels

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” - St. Augustine

“No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.” - Lin Yutang

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things - air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky - all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” - Cesare Pavese

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” - Henry Miller

“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” - Freya Stark

“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” - Miriam Beard

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.” - Martin Buber

“To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted.” - Bill Bryson

“If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay at home.” - James Michener

“A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.” - Tim Cahill

“Not all those who wander are lost.” - J. R. R. Tolkien

“Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.” - Maya Angelou

“What you’ve done becomes the judge of what you’re going to do - especially in other people’s minds. When you’re traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.” - William Least Heat Moon

“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” - Rudyard Kipling

“Adventure is a path. Real adventure - self-determined, self-motivated, often risky - forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind - and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” - Mark Jenkins

I Am A Christian

When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."
When I say ..."I am a Christian,"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble,
And need CHRIST to be my guide.
When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak,
And need HIS strength to carry on.
When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed,
And need God to clean my mess.
When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible,
But God believes I am worth it.
When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches,
So I call upon His name.
When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not holier than thou.
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace somehow
~Maya Angelou

Money? What?

Sooo just a little update about fundraising. St. Louis currently has me clocked in at 25%. That is initially devestatingly TOO LOW!

HOWEVER: based on promises made and previous committments that have said they will make another donation, if they all turn in their money it will put me at a whopping 80%!!! Plus I have a fundraiser coming up on September 1st at Shield's Pizza in Rochester, leading Bible study at St. Peter Macomb, a free will offering at Trinity Utica at a service at which a couple thousand are expected plus the congregation is sending a team to Vietnam next year, speaking at Concordia University in Ann Arbor, speaking at St. Matthew's in Wixom and Walled Lake including a door offering, and finally speaking at chapel at St. John Rochester.

WHEW! It's been a rough summer, but in very Lutheran/Asian style everything is coming together at the last minute.

Can I get an AMEN?? God is good!